DBZ Outside the Set
by Saiyan
Summary: Have you ever wanted to find out what your favorite DBZ characters do when they’re not saving the world? Well here’s your chance. Inspired by Lady OceanStar's behind closed doors fics. Rated for language and sexual humor among other things.


DBZ Outside the Set **DBZ Outside the Set** by Saiyan  
  
**DBZ Outside the Set**  
  
"Well now that I have your attention follow me into the realm of DBZ. While you're in this realm they will not be able to see you or hear you. I'll transport us there now with my amazing author powers." I say as we vanish and appear in the DBZ world  
  
"Now let's go see what Vegeta's doing" I say as we are instantly transported to Capsule Corp  
  
Vegeta is sitting on the couch singing.  
  
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" Vegeta sings as he sways with the music  
  
"Ok now this is just disturbing, let's go see what Bulma is doing" I say  
  
We are instantly transported to Bulma's lab where she has just finished an experiment.  
  
"Finally it's done, the worlds largest watermelon jelly bean!" Bulma exclaims  
  
She then proceeds to dance around in a touchdown celebration fashion.  
  
"O..kay, maybe Trunks is doing something normal, let's go to his room next" I say  
  
We appear in Trunks room. He is laying on the bed talking on the phone to some girl.  
  
"Oh come on, we've known each other for years, it's about time you put out" Trunks said  
  
"Well why the hell not?" Trunks continues  
  
"Well what the fuck does it matter?" Trunks continues  
  
"Ok I think we should go now, let's go see what Bra's doing" I say  
  
We are instantly brought to Bra's room. She's on the phone talking to someone.  
  
"It matters because you're my brother, and I'm not like that" Bra said as she hung up the phone  
  
"Um..ewww, maybe we should go see what Goku's doing" I say as we are transported to Goku's house  
  
Goku is in the kitchen with Chi Chi.  
  
"Uh..Chi Chi, I've been a little worried about you lately" Goku said  
  
"Why?" Chi Chi responded  
  
"Well I haven't seen you give yourself an exam for breast cancer so I think I should do it for you" Goku said  
  
"Oh Goku! But Goten is just in the livingroom" Chi Chi said  
  
"It'll be good for him to learn how to do it right" Goku said  
  
"I think we'd better go into the livingroom now" I say  
  
We are transported to the livingroom where Goten is sitting in front of the TV.  
  
"Ok now the proper way to do it is to insert the needle into a major vein and shoot it, and the best way to get a good vein is to tie off" the voice on the TV said  
  
Goten pulls out a strip of rubber and ties it around his arm and shoots some weird drug into his arm.  
  
"I think we'd better go see what Gohan's doing" I say as we once again vanish  
  
We appear in Gohan's room.  
  
"AAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" I yell as I turn around  
  
Suddenly someone kicks the door open. Videl stands in the doorway looking pissed off.  
  
"Damnit Gohan, you were jacking off to my Backstreet Boys posters again weren't you?" Videl yelled  
  
"So what? I still fuck you don't I?" Gohan replied  
  
"Ok, we're leaving now" I say as I transport us to where Pan is  
  
"That last one was disgusting" I say  
  
We look around and see that we are on the edge of a cliff and Pan is there too.  
  
"This'll end it all! Now Trunks, I'll show you why you shouldn't have taken your own sister over ME!" Pan yelled as she jumped off and hit the ground with a thud and got up unharmed  
  
"Well if I can't kill myself I'll just take Uncle Goten away from Bra" Pan said  
  
"Ok all this incest talk is really freaking me out, let's go" I say as I transport us to Krillin  
  
"Come on 18, you can make it my birthday present" Krillin said  
  
"NO! We've already seen Titanic 3 times this week, I'm sick of it, and you only want to go see it so you can see that girls' breasts" 18 responded  
  
"No I don't" Krillin responded  
  
"Oh, then tell me what Titanic is about" 18 said  
  
"Uh..it's about people who let others draw them naked" Krillin said  
  
"Wow, Krillin is one horny bastard, but he's not horny for his wife which is really weird since she's so hot, well let's go see what Marron's doing" I say as we vanish  
  
Marron is thrashing around her room listening to a CD and singing along  
  
"..Turn you're back on me and make believe that you're always happy. It's safe to say you're never alive. A big part of you has died. And by the way I hope you're satisfied. I'm alive.." Marron sang with the exact voice that was on the CD  
  
"Damn, I didn't know she was a Godsmack fan. That KICKS ASS! Now let's go see what someone else is doing" I say as we once again vanish  
  
We appear in an alley.  
  
"What are we doing here?" I ask but then I see a familiar DBZ char  
  
Android 17 is sitting by a garbage can fire cooking a banana peel.  
  
"Damn his sister's a bitch to not let him live with her, well let's go" I say as we vanish  
  
"Where are we now?" I ask as I'm in a big mansion but then I see a familiar DBZ character  
  
"Yea, well you tell my agent I'm not going anywhere, I've been given immortality afterall" Garlic Jr. said as he hung up the phone  
  
"Damn the Garlic Jr. Saga got me a lot of money" Garlic Jr. says as he begins throwing money into the air  
  
"Well that was interesting, but somewhat expected, so let's go somewhere else" I say as we again vanish  
  
We appear in Kame house where Master Roshi is on the phone.  
  
"Well, can't we settle this outside of court? Why not? I don't have 5 million dollars though! Oh shucks" Master Roshi says as he hangs up the phone  
  
"Who was that Master Roshi?" His turtle asks  
  
"That was Jackie Chan, he's suing me for using a parody of his name during the World Martial Arts Tournament" Master Roshi replied  
  
"Wow, it looks like you're in some deep shit" the turtle said  
  
"I guess we'd better leave Master Roshi to start gathering soda cans, so let's go somewhere else" I say as we vanish  
  
We appear in the desert where Tien is training.  
  
"Come on Chaotzu, stand still" Tien said  
  
"But, I'm afraid you'll hit me again" Chaotzu said  
  
"Well I only hit you that last time because you burnt the brownies, so don't do anything else wrong and I won't hit you anymore" Tien said  
  
Chaotzu looked scared.  
  
"Well, Tien is a bastard off the set, I would like to kick his ass but I can't because he can't see me and I can't affect him on this parallel plain, so let's go to one more place" I say as we vanish  
  
We appear in Yamucha's house.  
  
"Yamucha! Dinner's ready!" Puar yells  
  
"Just a minute Puar I'm almost done watching this video of Bulma and Vegeta on their wedding night!" Yamucha yelled back  
  
"Uh..well I guess the Z fighters aren't as cool in real life as they seem on the show. In fact some of them are really sick and messed up. So I'll transport you home now in front of your computer and make you think this was all just a fanfic that I posted on fanfiction.net right now.  
  
(Ok I would like to explain about Trunks. *Runs away as angry Trunks fans throw bricks at him* AAAHHHHHH!!) 


End file.
